Ken and Robin Talk About Stuff: So Bad the Quakers Riot

In the latest episode of our hyper-compressed podcast, Ken and I talk tone, Fomenko's chronology, banished phrases and John Murray Spear.

Feel the Horror of the 2013 Gen Con Buzzword

Can the Gen Con buzzword competition survive in a world where former also-ran Kevin Kulp now reigns as defending champion? In 2012 his ruthless use of the term incubate won him the the crown he had so fiendishly slavered for, for so many years.

If this sounds like madness to you, a) it is and b) here’s the recap.

Each year at Gen Con, players of this cruel insider marathon attempt to drop a ridiculous and/or repellent piece of business jargon into conversation in as many contexts as possible. Straightfaced usages score full points. Visible irony warrants a deduction. For extra points, slip it into podcasts, ENnies acceptance speeches, or like circumstances in which an innocent public is subjected to the buzzword’s full horror. Super extra points are awarded for causing some other unfortunate soul to use the word as if it is a thing decent, sane people actually say.

Past buzzwords have included wheelhouse, idea farm, and the verb form of status.

This year we’re not letting you off so easy. The terrifying term of 2013 is eventize, a malformation of the English language in which one proposes to take something and make an event out of it.

Examples of use:

• “When this hits retail, we’re going to eventize the heck out of it.”
• “In 2013, it’s not enough to launch a Kickstarter. You have to eventize your Kickstarter.”
• “We’re working on a way to eventize our errata.”
• “Really, when you think about it, all gaming is a process of micro-scale democratized eventization.”

As suggested by the final example above, derivations of the term will be accepted. It goes without saying, rules lawyers, that the ordinary word event, unadorned and alone, earns you nada. It is a thing a decent person might say.

Report point-scoring activities to me for inclusion in the final tally, to be announced after the show. All judging decisions are final.

Ken and Robin Talk About Stuff: An Indictment of Your Pudding

In the latest episode of our omnipresent podcast, Ken and I talk surveillance turtling, US vs UK words, player betrayal, and the Spear of Destiny.

Consider That Stolen, Music Fan

As one would hope and expect at an establishment where all the sandwiches are named after Wilco songs, the chat between counter guys and customers at Sky Blue Sky usually revolves around music.

(Come to think of it, they may actually pay the guys who hang around passing the word on cool new bands. Like the performers who wander amusement parks dressed as cartoon animals.)

The other day, as I was waiting for my Kingpin, I overheard the following revelatory exchange.

Counter guy: You’ve never heard of Jack White?

Music fan: (shaking his head, but smiling) Nah, that’s not my real flavor.

“That’s not my real flavor.” It’s what you say when you want to indicate your lack affinity for something without dissing it. A friendly acknowledgment of taste’s essential subjectivity.

The complicated die mechanic in that story game? Not my real flavor.

I tried to watch that adaptation of the classic ghost story last night, but it was not my real flavor.

It carries the same meaning as “not my cup of tea” but without the aging pedigree, and the unspoken connotation of withheld condemnation.

Now, that saying, music fan, that is my real flavor. Thank you. And consider it stolen.

Paparazzo Drift

Like most governments, South Korea keeps more regulations on the books than it can afford to police. Its solution: offer small bounties to private citizens who report commercial infractions. The result: a growing industry of so-called “paparazzi” who, with video cameras in hand, act as freelance inspection officers. (NYT link.)

First, this presents us with a lovely example of linguistic drift. The term paparazzi originates in a work of fiction, the iconic Federico Fellini film La Dolce Vita, in which a photographer who hunts local celebrities and gossip figures with his camera is nicknamed Paparazzo—which means buzzing fly. It soon entered the English language, transmuted into a general term for celebrity-stalking photographer. And now it has mutated again, moving to Korea to describe these for-profit regulators.

South Korea’s film industry has been on a roll lately, turning out great genre flicks. How long will it be before this real-life situation, rife with cinematic promise, supplies the premise for a movie—and what genre will it tackle?

Crime drama: A budding regulator winds up over his head when he records the wrong infraction at a mob-owned factory.

Spy thriller: A paparazzi flees North Korean agents when his tape of food stall infractions accidentally captures their activities.

Comedy: The cat and mouse game between a paparazzi and his business owner target turns into an escalating series of reprisals.

Romantic Comedy: An unlikely pair of freelance regulators fall in love when they compete to expose the same dumping scam.

Horror: Terror abounds when a team of young paparazzi discover that the secret hidden of an abandoned factory is something far worse than drums of toxic waste...